I KEEP TYPING IN MY JOURNAL AND SAYING THINGS LIKE I AM DETERMINED TO LEARN TO LOVE THIS PROCESS THAT I AM GOING THROUGH BECAUSE IT IS A PART OF ME NOW AND IF I HATE THIS THING I FEEL LIKE I AM HATEING MYSELF IS THIS WEIRD THINKING? DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND THIS? DOES ANYONE FEEL LIKE EVEN THOUGH I AM STILL RESERVING THE RIGHT TO GET MAD AND SCREAM AND CRY * I JUST DID THAT YESTERDAY AM * AND YELL AND FEEL LIKE TROWING STUFF AND HITTING PILLOWS IS IT OK FOR ME TO RECOGNISE THIS AS A PROCESS OF BLESSINGS BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO EVENTUALLY TEACH ME TO BE PATIENTS AND COMPASSION AND MERCY FOR MYSELF AND OTHERS OR AM I JUST BEING WEIRD I GUESS I AM LOOKING FOR SUPPORT DO I HAVE DORTHY WIZARD OF OZ SYNDROME OR WHAT?
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