My ex was very unprepared and unwilling to deal with my diagnosis. We stayed together about 3 years post diagnosis. I had 2 small kids when we split. Honestly one of my main worries was that no one would ever want to take on a sickly woman with her 2 small children. But much to my surprise I found a wonderful man who is greatly supportive of me and wonderful with my boys. We have been together about 7 years now and I have recently added Lyme disease and idiopathic intracranial hypertension to the list. I have been unable to work for about 8 months, but he is still there to offer support however and whenever I need it. Be positive. There are great men out there. And believe in yourself, don't define who you are by what your diagnosis is. Good luck to you and your children.

Thank You sooooo much Micheybel. After losing everything its nice to know that their may still be hope out there and that I may one day find the right person out there who can look past what I can't do vs' what I can. I have been feeling the same as you recently felt that their is no one out there that would want to take on this monster with me. But I'm just so tired and discouraged at what I'm finding. I feel so alone in this. But, its always inspirational to know that someone like you was able to find that kind of love out their. Thanks for the well wishes hope the best to your family too.

my journals since 2007 are just that... post divorce, post DX.. I'll find out your answer for sure this year, but it's developing

you know, I could have written your's and the following posts myself - that's how much I feel the same.

The ex walked last March and I know that it was in good part because of the MS and how it took so much away from what I and hence we could do as a couple. I met someone a short while ago and thought there was really something there, now apparently I discover there's not.

I too am wondering who out there is going to want half a woman..if I do want to meet up with someone I'm too embarrased by my condition and the way I walk to allow myself to do so. Everyone says to think positively about yourself and not to convey negative feelings..that's so hard when you feel so diminished by this thing.

So the answer is....I don't know...I sure as hell would like to hope so but I know the limitations this monster has set upon me, what normal man in his right mind is going to want to put up with it?

reply #1 says it all.there are great men out there who exist.i fell in love after i was dx, it was indeed pure , great love, but it lasted briefly,but i think we'll be friends forever now and thats ok. stay positive, concentrate on you and your kids and before you know it you'll be swept off your feet by someone who'll love you unconditionally forever.

I guess it's different when it's the male or female with the MS, and how it affecting them when you Meet. Once you're in the relationship, anything can happen... car accidents, diseases, anything... but before getting involved, it's rough.

If mine doesn't work out, I don't know what I would do... I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't even drink much coffee so book stores are out LOL I wouldn't even know where to meet someone. My age, my height, my cane, and inability to do much physical activity (walking, climbing, hiking, sports, etc) for any length of time, makes me wonder. I also wonder how much the MS is a factor in the present situation.

I had been seeing my man for three years on and off prior to dx. When I told him I had MS he did not hesitate in telling me I'd beter move in with him.....which I did just over a year ago and couldn't wish for more....he is a gem.
There are good men out there who are capable and intelligent enough to accept your dx and who will love you unconditionally.

Wow, thanks everyone for your comments. By reading these it sounds like their is both, the Good ones ie Micheybel, Orsova and of course hoping nothing but the best for you Larrydn, and their are others in my situation. Its a horrible feeling of utter aloneness, I am a confident person in most cases but my vision gets the best of me at times I will walk directly into a wall, and sometimes tend to stagger like the town drunk, I don't drink, don't go to bars but if I did I'm sure I would fit in really well. LOL.

But I did want to Thank everyone. A mixture of replies is more than I thought I would get. I wish everyone the best.
Thanks again

well, Ive been married twice since i was first diagnosed, yes, there is plenty of love to be found. I hope you find yours.................

Been married for 11 years to a great and supportive man I met 4 years after dx. We have 2 kids together. He is a rock. I truly believe a true man knows what love is when it comes along and will run with it regardless of the baggage that comes along :)

You sound like my first marriage! I have two kids from my first marriage and after my diagnosis, my marriage fell apart. Let me just tell you that we are not our MS. It does not define us, it's just a condition we have. It's a part of the endless parts of us as a whole. You will me the right man for you. I have and there are still good men out there. I found the love of my life and he accepts all of me, MS included. I have never been so happy in my whole life. Yes, MS is a big challenge in my life but at least i have someone to share the burdens and the constant roller coaster ride that is MS. Never let MS stop you from finding love. Believe in yourself and love yourself and the rest will come to you.
Best of luck to you,
Dawn

My marriage got better after my Diagnosis, my wife and I are working through this together; she lets me know daily that she is not going anywhere. I believe that she knows in her heart that if the roles were reversed, I would be there for her just as she is for me. She knows of my fears for her and our kids, I have to work through my guilt of feeling like I have failed her because of my MS and my feelings of not wanting them to have to endure the caregivers role, what ever that may be. She has to work through her fears of loosing the husband she married in the physical sense, and has to make to commitment to herself that she is ready for what ever our marriage brings. We work on these issues separately with help from outside the marriage and then together when we understand what it is that is driving our fears. Bottom line, I have an awesome wife!

Tim

YES. AND WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR TEN YEARS NOW...HE IS AND HAS BEEN WONDERFUL. WITHOUT HIM, I DON'T KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE...IT IS POSSIBLE.

My thing is, it's not like it's something you could or should ever try to hide! That would be the kiss of death "eventually". My current S.O. (my first really since the divorce) is totally aware of my condition. I have told her the worst things that could happen and sent her multiple links, so she could be totally aware of what she is getting into. She just said "if you're trying to scare me away - it's not working! I WILL be here for the duration!" ... she's such a great lady... :D

My wife was sub-clinical when we were married and had her first major exacerbation less then three months after we were married.

Meanwhile with a blended family that is doing well but has had some not very good dynamics exacerbated by mom's new reactivity, a couple of job losses on my part where it was either corporate moves or an interfering ex-wife have ratcheted the stresses up immeasurably, AKA losing the house in about two weeks now.

Bottom line? We are still together and at times when the rages are hottest and her patience the least, I don't always manage the "stay cool" and say a few I ought not to.

Trick is, when is a) the MonSter talking, AKA that part of the mind affected by the disease, or b) when is it the totally stressed out mom talking AKA the part worn out and fatigued, or when is it c) the cat's claws are out and she's a slashing?

Because it is hard to tell sometimes. So Dx'd folks, remember that we supporters who are trying need your patience too.

Bottom line? We're still together and working on it. With happy times between the stress times as well.