you just cannot get away from it all. When everything will not shut down. When you either dissociate into a coma like state or get crushed by the thoughts and memories to the point of wanting to just stop existing. We try and sleep sometimes, but that does not really help. Nothing isw getting done that needs doing and we do not care but we fewel badly for our husband who deserves better. We need to be able to speak about stuff but we only get one hour a week and so little can get done in that time. It is so frustrating. We do not want to burden or depress our husband with all this stuff. We can see him hurt for us and that only makes things worse. some parts want to take over for a while but our husband does not know them well and they would not fit into his world. They live very differently and the rest of his family must never know we are what we are. We still feel like we are bound to keep secrets and hide even now and that sucks big time but we know we would be rejected and no longer included if his family really knew us. Thanks for reading. Sorry but we needed to get that out.
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