not sure how to word this post because its a difficult thing to describe - i work really hard in my therapy and yeah it takes me to hell and back sometimes but my i find my self awareness that i get acknowledgement for in therapy interferes with my relationships outside of therapy - my dr claims i am the most self aware person he has ever met and its not just his personal opinion that to keep things in perspective the dr he consults with has the same view of my self awareness - i guess its an honesty thing i have in therapy - i cant lie to my therapist - he knows us too well now - but we also figure that lying in therapy serves no purpose and would be a waste of time and money on our behalf - the trouble i have is that no one i know is so internally self aware of anything - and i cant understand how people can walk around so oblivious to themselves and not question their actions motives thought processes etc - not give a second thought to their thoughts i guess - see i cant really explain it - its rather an abstract concept of the mind and levels of consciousness i guess - does anyone understand or think they understand what i am saying ...
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