So I went to therapy yesterday and we discussed something in much detail then we have done before. It was in regards to physical contact/affection and how it makes me feel gross/disgusting/dirty and that it's wrong/bad - basically I just HATE it and cannot stand it. It was very hard for me to remain grounded. But anyway. I talked about how I haven't told anyone about it, even my boyfriend and it causes so much anxiety being around people plus the digust and repulsion towards myself. I have to take showers and scrub myself 'clean' when I get home, which is hard when someone hugs me and I cannot go home right away. I've had breakdowns over being kissed by my boyfriend. It's really ruining my life. I was wondering if anyone has ever overcome this? If so, how? I do want to be able to be hugged and kissed, I want to be like everyone else...and while I hate using the word, normal.
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New profile, had a problem logging in so I just made a New one. Anyway, the ds is not updating my profile, so, I will just stick this here. I/we are a co present team. I came "out" a few years back and am doing fine. My boss and co workers are totally cool with it. I'm happy to help anyone with their journey. Feel free to ask me anything.
I'm 8 months pregnant and exhausted. My partner is spending more and more time drinking with his friends and I have no friends or family that will help me or keep me company. Everyone I know is a self - obsessed narcissist like my mother, uses me and only wants to focus on themselves. I am so used to being a scapegoat and a doormat that I seek people who will treat me that way while...