Hi every1...some will no me others won't...but i wecome chat, help, advice, understanding from any1 else that suffers with personality disorders, mental, physical & sexual abuse...& depression...not much really. Like alot of u I ask myself everyday why carry on in this hell of a life...the logical reason is my kids & partner...i feel i owe it 2 them 2 stay here cause i would hurt themif i wasn't here...but as 4 myself it would be the best thing ever. I had a cousin in his 20's that hung himself & died 6 yrs ago...I have always understood his pain & reason y he couldn't cope anymore...when i saw him in his coffin & cud still c the mark round his neck..i just looked at him & cried...his pain had finally come 2 an end...but wat a waste of life...it hurts me so much 2 no he hurt so much & i wish i was there 4 him more...but he didn't open up alot bout his feelings..crying here...the pain that consumes my life...the things i have went threw & still am r killing me slowly everyday...i fight in my head 2 stop hurting myself & trying not 2 die...but its in my head 24/7...even when i try distractions i still feel emptiness..am i alone???
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