hello everyone, im new here. i think there are three of me. sometimes i lose time. sometimes i feel like if i open a door im walking by ill meet myself. either a mad violent side of me, or a small sad hurt and lonely little boy thats me. i was abused, very badly as a child, and decided i could never hurt anyone else like that no matter what anyone did, so now i cannot show anger, but i disconnect when im hurt so i dont feel it either. i think theses personas are my anger and hurt. a lot of my memories are hazzy, or dreamlike. some are from third person view, looking down on myself. i dissasociated for survival, but now its ingrained, i space out at times without consious decision. i can not talk to the others in there, when there here i ussally dont remember it, or if i do im not quite in control. heroin stopped this for a time, so did cutting, but now ive stopped them, and feel out of control.
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