My mom is always talking about me to my brother and everytime I viset him it is such a negative expirience I don't want to talk to him anymore. I have been feeling like I want to distance myself from my whole family for the past while. I am living with my mom and my kids for the time being I have no where else to go. I am struggling to keep my emotions together to keep sane to keep my anxiety and ptsd managable. Everyday feels like a struggle just to go on. I am in constant battle with my alters and a lot of introjects latly. That being said the way my family looks at it is....I am a mooch I have outstayed my welcome here (8 months) and my mom shouldnt have taken me in becouse I and my kids are a burden on her. I have been paying my mom rent. I have been buying my oun stuff my kids stuff. I don't have a job but have been getting work (yard, house, selling stuff) every chance I get and useing that to support us. But thats not the report my mom gives everyone. My mom does a lot to stop me from succedding and I feel like I can't tell anybody becouse they wont believe me. Especially my family. My brother wanted me to work online. HE gave me this site I checked it out and had a bad feeling about it so I didnt sighn up.He got mad at me for it. Come to find out later it was a scam. Do you think he bothered to apologise...no my family just goes on talking about me the problem the blacksheep. When I told my brother I don't want to do online work becouse of internet issues (aka my mom pulling the plug) He barked at me wanting to know the exact problem and why. I olny told him the little things aside from my mom being an issue. My mom and my brother get together sometimes they go in the room and lock me out I overhear them talking about me but dont ease drop so I dont know exactly what there saying. My mom is always gossiping away about me on the phone and I someotimes get aproached by people from her church talking to me about things she told them. Her friends give her report when I go out about what I was doing. My mom knows everything except this post. I feel constantly wached constantly insulted constantly under control and like the black sheep ugly different and unwanted. I can't take it anymore I just had to vent. Jesus I have to go on more. This pressure my mom puts on me to be friends with my cousin (who hates me for telling the truth) and my whole family pushes me to talk to my dad (who malested me the one I tell the truth about) Like I said I cant take it!!!
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