I have only been recently talking about this, all my life I have had lapses in time, moments where I would look at my body and I would be bloody and broken, I would have marks on my arms from syringes that I didn't make. Sometimes I would just sit down and play ,and laugh, even in the most serious of situations. I have been diagnosed with DID and I have only been aware of two alters, where I call myself Alie and Foren. I have always thought of myself differently named when I am like that, when I want to stab and murder and abuse everyone just like they did me-- when I want to sit down and read a children's book and have someone wrap their arms around me. I haven't had a lapse in consciousness in quite a while though, about a month.
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