I have only been recently talking about this, all my life I have had lapses in time, moments where I would look at my body and I would be bloody and broken, I would have marks on my arms from syringes that I didn't make. Sometimes I would just sit down and play ,and laugh, even in the most serious of situations. I have been diagnosed with DID and I have only been aware of two alters, where I call myself Alie and Foren. I have always thought of myself differently named when I am like that, when I want to stab and murder and abuse everyone just like they did me-- when I want to sit down and read a children's book and have someone wrap their arms around me. I haven't had a lapse in consciousness in quite a while though, about a month.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??