don't know what to tell you except it's ok to post here - mostly safe. only one trollish type but you can ignore him. btw i'm an insider too, i stay below but like you host is having problems. holiday stuff and anniversaries this time of year.

Thank you for replying, was beginning to think I had done wrong.

just a quiet community here is all.

Ellie, when you say original/host do you mean the birth person? Just a little problem with the jargon, on my end.

first: As protector, do your job. Make sure any 'littles' are in a safe place.

Second: Make sure any of those that might be influenced by the hosts behavior. (those that are suicidal and easily influenced by others)

Third: Provide some backbone for your host, she is going to need it. If necessary (I don't know how large your system is) find another insider to help.

I think my computer is turning evil. Sorry about that.
Basically, shelter the littles, keep safe the easily influenced and provide back-up for the host.

There will be a lot of feelings coming out over the next few weeks and your host may need time off, if there is another that can stand in her place, that would be wonderful, if not, then while she is with her parents make sure she has frequent breaks and cooling off periods.

Do your job, but don't allow it to overwhelm you.

Feel free to message me anytime, and I will try to help as best I can. I have dealt with this for over 20 years now and have learned a few tricks to get through the holidays.

Good luck to you--Laura

sorry for un clarity with information. our birth person is the one not coping. lll message you hank you

it is so good to hear from another insider! My name is ronda and we are having troubles of our own but just keep in mind that we are here to help protect our outsider. I got thru my assignment by telling myself i could do anything if it was only temporary. The Parents...there just there to make sure your charge gets into physical adulthood. We are here to make they make it there emotionally. Best wishes to you and you can call on me/us anytime. Ronda

You sound an awful lot like my daughter....things just keep getting busier and busier in her life, and she's wearing herself thin trying to meet everyone's requests.

There comes a time, when you have to blow the whistle and say, enough!!

There are only so many hours in a day, and only so much energy you have to be able to use your time efficiently.

That includes needed time for rests.

Does she HAVE to go back to the parents for Christmas??? If so, then give her a way out if she needs it...permission to leave if she can't handle any more...even if just to go for a walk to cool off, or to go to a restaurant for coffee...if you/she needs to go home, then allow for that...find a way to be able to transport yourself if you need to, and not be dependent on someone else for it, if you possibly can.