Wow! Sorry I'm confused reading your confusion. It must be really difficult. I know that I am aware of being dissociated with some parts when we have co-consciousness and I know what is happening with other parts being out and there are times when parts don't let me be co-conscious so I don't find out until we switch back again. Sorry, I'm so totally not answering this the right way for you.
Karen

We think we "feel" more dissociated when we can see what the body is doing but not be in control of the actions. Just kind of watching only. Other times we are not even "watching". Sometimes we are what we call co-coscious when two or more of us are in control of the body at the same time by working together. We don't know if that is what you are meaning but hope it helps in some way.

I agree with usalone. its hard complicated for even those to watch the situation. I know from experience watching it

Being DID is technically always Dissociated. Its different than the being forgetful dissociated, or being numb dissociated, or having flashbacks dissociated.

I have many types of Dissociation. And I found others have even more I never experienced.

Kathy08 I think that is where I am getting to in my thinking - that the whole idea of being "Grounded" doesn't even work for me... What is "grounded" to a person who is always dissociated? What is not switching if you are always in one part or another?

Finally got it, took a nights sleep for it to make its way through my brain but i got it. youre right, there is really no such thing as grounded, if you have parts, for anyone who has parts. Whos to decide which part being present constitutes being grounded? Huh? the part, the entire system. Beats me. i guess its an excuse me but i dont mean to be funny, but the individuals choice? Or the collective? Or the people? Trying to find pronouns is impossible.

Im so glad you brought this up, i hadnt thought about it but now that i am it makes sense. Ive been upset because i do lots of things, including borderline self harm while im not present and it makes my life even more difficult. I want it to stop but dont know how. Some say communicate with my parts, like i can call them on the phone or something. anyway now i realize im being arrogant, they have as much right to be present as i do and maybe theyre mad at me for hogging everything and thinking im the only one who counts. Good grief im a jerk.

The People, that's it exactly, I just am starting to feel frustrated by the idea that one of us is dissociated and some other is not... when in truth we all are, all the time one way or another. But, when you have parts that are self destructive, thats not good for the whole. So, just like in this (daily strength) community, when one part is doing something that is damaging to the whole, something has to be done. BUT you cant kick them OUT because we all share the same body. And of course, we have to love them because we know they are part of us and are just wounded kids anyway, so we have to help them. Find out why they are hurting and try to make things better for them. Right now I have somebody in me that is feeling self destructive, angry and just downright pissed off. But I have others who believe they CANT be so angry and tell them to shut up and go away. Now, of course they have a right to be angry and God knows they have good reasons to be, but they have to find a healthy way to express it. We have to let them, and we have to do it safely. Those of us who are neutral on the anger/no anger expression issue have to help the two negotiate. But all of us have equal rights.

OH, and THANK you The People, it feels sooooooooooooooo good to feel like somebody gets us... that's he BEST part of being here. (in this group)

We guess we are all in some stage of disociation because we are DID. But when we are in therapy our T sometimes wants to make sure we are"grounded" before we leave. In that sense he wants to make sure we know where we are and who we are and be sure that we are in the present. That is what we call grounded.
As for The People, we wanted to say that we think you are starting to understand better. We are trying to say this in the nicest way, but we are alters and our birth alter fights admitting we exist and fights communicating with us because that will make us real. It makes some of us angry and frustrated and even makes some "parts" not want to communicate with her. So we urge you to try and start to be more open to communication with your alters. We know how they must feel. Hope that is not too harsh. It would be great if our birth alter knew of this site and was as open as you are in trying to understand.

my system has undergone some serious shifts over the years. i cant write the whole story, but i was in an intimate relationship with my psychiatrist of 8 yrs. i got away from him and didnt seek thearpy for a while. years later...now...like 18 yrs later....i'm with a therapist (after 5 others who just didnt get it or me or were just not a good fit) my system now is so different than it was. i dont have co-consciousness anymore, i dont hear the voices all the time like i used to, i feel dissociated in some form all the time. i have trouble connecting thoughts and feelings, even remembering what happened yesterday.

how does one "be open" to their system when it has decayed due to further abuse? one of my troubles is that i can get the dissociatve walls down enough to talk deep issues with my therapist. I've been trying to mediatate, i have journals and art supplies like you wouldn't beleive, but those tools aren't being used either.

any suggestions???

usalone, got your point no need to worry about offending me - my only concern is well i hope you and i are two different bodies - and not parts of the same one that would be upsetting. " i " don't take offense, unless it's a personal attack, if what someone says makes me angry i own it, i don't think they said it TO make me angry, it's MY response and i have to figure out what it was that evoked that feeling. yeah it makes me mad, as mad as a wet cat - but it's because i dissociate in the first place, that any of it happened and now " i " have to deal with it. blah. i understand it well, i just don't like it at all. i also don't want it to be true but denial doesn't do much except make it more difficult. i'm just glad we have this place to talk. i can't imagine what it was like for people before such places were around - i wasn't as aware and did a good job of hiding from everyone including myself so it wasn't so bad. but now that it's all hanging out i think, well it wouldn't be good without ds and everyone here.