i feel lost and am wondering if i should be hospitalized. just recently one of my people victor lunged at my mother and my fiance saying that "i dont need any of your fucking help" that happened twice in one night and i came too with them basically pinning me down. and a few days after that my fiance was attacked by another one that we have come to call the protector. that one was in a dead sleep and she just tried waking me up and he came out. i am so scared because i would never purposely hurt anyone. both my mom and my fiance says not to worry about it because they were able to call me back out but i am worried what if they cant stop "me" next time and what if it happens if it happens around my soon to be step daughter next time. if anyone ever got hurt because of me i would never be able to forgive myself. i would be able to at least deal with it better if it was directed toward myself but not towards those i love. i dont kno what to do anymore.everytime i look at any of them i almost start to cry. they dont seem to understand my fears.
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