I hate to put people in groups. I would hate to even try to explain the grief process. I have two brothers, and my father. Mom had three sisters and three brothers, but I swear to god no one misses her like me. Her funeral was over two hundred people. Literally. I stood in front of a crowd I didn't want t see and said words of farewell I could never imagine. I still don't understand why my mom went to sleep one Friday night and never woke up at age 55. My nephew ( his father, my former best bud, no longer speak, B/C he separates himself from the family) was at my parents house tonight. My dad's heart was so broken my Mom wasn't there to share the happiness with him. My Dad told me how he dreams of my Mom. I didn't know what to say, I just cried. Oh how I miss her so much. YOU and Me, a few of us..... know the feeling of mother and daughter. It comes once in your life, and.. how do we, me, I, us.. deal with it once it is gone. I don't know if it would have been easier to know my Mom was going to die, but to get that call on Saturday morning, It will haunt me forever. I relive it everyday! It is killing me!!!!!!! Why do things happen with out warning? I will never understand this,, my life.. life with out her. She was my mom when I was young. She tought me everything I know. How to be... A... friend.. sister..wife..role model..one day a MOM. I want to tell her thanks again.. for all I AM... all I will Be! I have to talk to the sky, the clouds, the stars at night. I sit on the beach,,,, on swear I am not alone.... She was, is my everything and can't be gone. I have thought of her all day. Fried chicken today while talking to her, asking her how long til I flip it..LOL. I need her every damn day! How will I do it? How will we do it? You all, let me know I am not alone. Even though it hurts, I am NOT the only Motherless Daughter out there. Some one just tell me how the hell to do it!
Posts You May Be Interested In
I cant seem to get started on things i have to do (like taxes, cleaning out the closet, getting my son's old car fixed to selll). Everything overwhelms me. My husband has been gone three years. I still miss him terribly.
This morning I seem to be having a solo slugfest party, trying to motivate myself to work on the back deck demo, get the ledger board down, and seal up the water issue that through the many years of a poorly done DIY install caused. Already repaired some of the rot to my subfloor and sill plate where the 40 year old patio slider door at deck level leaked through the many years. But finding...