Today I went to my parents house. I've been missing my mother terribly lately and felt the need to feel close to her. I was going through her jewlery box, looking for a pink ribbon pin that I could wear on my bridesmaid dress at my brothers wedding next month. After finding what I was looking for I started going through some dresser drawers. My mother saved everything it seems, and I used to get a kick out of looking through her junk drawers when I was a kid. This was not the same as when I was a kid. Here was proof of a life lived. Things in her handwritting, little notes and cards. There was a card from a friend of hers, the friend wrote that she wanted to send the card out before Brian came but didn't get a chance. Brian is my older brother, he's 29. She saved this in her drawer for almost 30 years. In another drawer was two years worth of pricetags from baby clothes for my daughter. All saved in case something didn't fit and needed to be returned. A receipt from Walmart with my name written on top. She was Christmas shopping, it was from 2005. She always made sure she spent the same amount of money on all three of her kids. In the back of the drawer was a yellowed newspapper clipping folded up. I expected to see an obituary or an important article. I unfoled the clipping and found Russell Crowe. I laughed out loud and couldn't help it, my mother was very much in love with Russell Crowe. The laugh faded away to that familliar stabbing pain that hits you suddenly when you really miss someone. So in answer to my question, what breaks the heart? Today it is Russell Crowe.
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