My brothers wedding is this coming saturday and suddenly I am freaking out. I don't want to have any part in it at all. I know that sounds terrible, especially since I have been the one trying to reasure the both of them that everything will be fine. Now I'm not so sure I can stand up at this wedding and be ok. I have been everyone elses rock through all of this and right now I'm not feeling that strong anymore. Stress and life are wearing me down and taken its toll on my emotions. I have no one to vent it out to so I tend to keep it bottled up. I almost lost it with my sister in law last sunday. She made some kind of comment about me having my kids with me at her house while her bridesmaids were helping with the favors and stuff. My two year old was being a typical two year old and apparently getting on her nerves because she kept yelling at her. I said to her, you know, I don't have the luxory of a built in babysitter. (Her sister was there with her baby and had brought along their mother to take care of the baby the whole time.) I don't have anyone to watch my kids, they don't have a gramma. She's a bridezilla. I guess I can forgive and forget but as of yet I'm still pretty mad. Thats not the reason why I don't want any part of it, but it doesn't help. I'm just stressed out.
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