I just want the pain in my heart to go away. I feel so depressed. I have a nice family, yet my soul is lost. I don't know how to change and move in a postiive direction. I don't feel happiness. I may smile throughout the day but it doesn't feel real. If I didn't say anything, most peole would not even know my pain. On the outside, I suppose I appear together but on the inside I am a mess. My heart will not stop crying. I just want the pain to go away. I need to feel some peace and comfort but I'm afraid I can't find my way out of this. Should I force myself to do things my heart don't feel like doing, or should I take time off to get myself together. It' been a year since mom died unexpectedly but I just don't know what to do anymore. I know I don't want to feel this way anymore but then, who here does. Do we have a choice in our grief, I don't know. I feel so weak and pityful posting like this.
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