
Motherless Daughters Community Group
For any daughter who has lost their mother, whether through Death (if it's been one day ago or 40 years ago) or Abandonment, (i.e.-drug abuse, mental illness, physical or emotional abuse, etc.) and is working through the grief process. This group provides unconditional support and understanding from women who have also lost their Moms and who truly care.
This is a tough group to join but I hope it helps

deleted_user
Just joined on a whim. Reading the book How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove etc., and felt like I needed to reach out.
My Mom died 5 weeks ago at the age of 70, and the most astounding thing to me is that we knew for the past year that she was terminal, and we all lived each day to the fullest. But the grieving and aftermath is so so hard, in spite of being "prepared".
My birthday is in a week and I just don't feel strong enough to get through it. I know from a realistic standpoint I will get through it, but I miss my mommy...
My Mom died 5 weeks ago at the age of 70, and the most astounding thing to me is that we knew for the past year that she was terminal, and we all lived each day to the fullest. But the grieving and aftermath is so so hard, in spite of being "prepared".
My birthday is in a week and I just don't feel strong enough to get through it. I know from a realistic standpoint I will get through it, but I miss my mommy...
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I hope this site does help you... for me, I've found great comfort in knowing that there are other people who "know".
My heart is with you and I hope you make it through ok. ~Angela
Getting through Valentine's Day and my birthday were really hard. My mother always -- ALWAYS -- would send me a "a little something" for Valentine's Day, and she was the first person to call on my birthday. She was so excited about my birthday that if she found a present for me in October -- four months before my birthday -- she would want me to have it RIGHT THEN.
You will get through it, but no matter how much you prepare for it, you are never prepared.
I know that you may not have a good birthday this year, but hopefully knowing how happy your mother was when she gave birth to you gives you at least comfort on that day.
You're right, from a "realistic" standpoint, you will get through it. Though, this year may be more difficult that those further out. It's ok to miss your Mom. From what I have been reading, that part never goes away. My suggestion to people has been, if you aren't, start journaling, AND, have your Mom write back. Have her say all those comforting things you need to hear her say. Crazy? No. We'll take peace and comfort whereever we can get it. Whenever we can get it. And, however we can get it.
Take care and remember to only look at one day at a time, or, one hour at a time - whatever works fo you. M~
I got through my birthday, which was the day before Easter. It was not easy. My husband and I stopped for a low key lunch (not a celebration) with one of my brothers. Two beers in the afternoon helped. It was not celebratory, but the two beers achieved the first time I felt relaxed since all of the deaths. That would be my prayer for you. Get through it. Feel relaxed and perhaps some happy memories to help you get through that day.
My mother has been gone 10 weeks now and my birthday was 3 weeks after. My brother's birthday was the day after she died. He said once that he spent his birthday picking out my Mom's grave site. It's very hard to celebrate a birthday without the very person that made it possible for you to have one. My friend's planned a surprise dinner party for me and I knew about it. I called the organizer and told her I didn't want to go. I couldn't think of anything else I would rather do less than TRY to celebrate a birthday and I thought I would ruin it for everyone by crying all night. But it turned out to be good for me to be with friends. It helped me a lot -because I know I would have been worse off sitting at home alone.
P.S. I miss my Mommy too.
Although my Mom's death was sudden, I hear no matter how much you prepare or think your prepared, the finality of it, is hard to accept.
I know birthdays are hard hun. My Mom's b-day was 3 days after she passed, and I had such plans for her. Then my birthday was just in late Feb, so I went to the beach to get away, I actually found some peace there. Do whatever you can to take care of you hun. We are here for you at DS, and it really has helped me through, especially when I didn't think I could go one. ))HUGS(( to you!
All of this does not make the loss any easier to bear. What I have found does make things easier is all of my lovelt friends I have found here at DS. THey have become like a second family to me and have been far better friends than ones living within 5 minutes of me.
I hope you to find this site helpful.
I may look for that book that you talked about. Is it worth the read?
I read a fantastic book by Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler called On Grief and Grieving. That book combined with DS has got me to where I am today......3 months on.
Love to you,
Samantha