The day my Mom passed away (10/24/08), something inside of me died. I just can't get it together. I am physically ill with my fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis flaring like crazy. I have gained an incredible amount of weight. I am suffering from depression to the max. My only "success" was stuffing my feelings down so that I could "function" and go to work and try to act like a normal person. But that all backfired on me as I have been a mess for the last two days, sick with depression and at times crying to the point that I feel like I will vomit. My only purpose in life is to take care of my cat. I feel so lost and only because I know God loves me and I feel His peace, I can somehow keep myself from completely hitting bottom. However, a light has gone out inside of me, and I don't think it will ever go on. My Mom's love was second only to God's in my life, and the void without her is like I have a huge gaping hole in me. I wish I could die but my cat needs to be fed.
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