Well yesterday we got some good news...we are approved for a loan to get a new home. We found a perfect house for us. Everyone would have their own room and my hubbys aunt would have the basement to fix up as her own little area. And what should be a happy time for me is filled with anxiety. For one I hate moving my hubby knows that but for two this is the home where I shared lots of memories with my mom over the last year. She stayed with me alot during the last year that she was alive and I kinda feel like I would be leaving her behind. Had she stayed with me that last night and died in my home then I wouldn't have a problem at all leaving here but she didn't. She left that night and went home and all my memories of the past year are of us around this house laughing talking spending lots of quality time together. She would never get to see our new home and that saddens me to no end. Why can't I just be happy for our family? This is what we have worked towards for the last several years to buy a home that we all could share together with lots of space for us to be comfortable so why still all the anxiety? I mean I can take her memories with me so why still the anxiety. I don't get it. I don't get myself. I don't understand why I just can't be happy for us. We are finally acheiving our goals.
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