Motherless Daughters Community Group

For any daughter who has lost their mother, whether through Death (if it's been one day ago or 40 years ago) or Abandonment, (i.e.-drug abuse, mental illness, physical or emotional abuse, etc.) and is working through the grief process. This group provides unconditional support and understanding from women who have also lost their Moms and who truly care.

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deleted_user 04/16/2008

It was the 3 month anniversary of my mum's passing on the 12th April ( last Saturday ) and I have been crying ever since.

I was going along OK - the good days were lasting for so much longer. But then it hit me!

I decided today to do something for myself so I went and had a massage. As soon as I laid down on the bed I burst into tears. The poor man massaging me didnt know what to say. I tried to let out a bit of a giggle and explained that I had recently lost my mum and I was sad - But I was OK!

It was very relaxing thats for sure.

I then walked through the shops on my way down to the car park and EVERY SINGLE SHOP seemed to have all of these Mothers Day Gifts! beautiful plates with nice messages about Mums and photo frames with stuff about mums in them. I was fighting back the tears all the way through the shops until I got to my car and cried and cried.

WOW - Do I have to stay away from the shops now for the next 3 weeks? This is going to be a very hard mothers day. My kids didnt really treat me very well on my birthday on the 9th March so I am not expecting anything different on mothers day. And on top of that, I am going to be wishing MY MUM was here so I could spoil her!!

I might just go away somewhere on my own...
Now that sounds relaxing!!!!!!!

I think that we should have a tribute to our mothers here on Mothers Day. Maybe we can write a poem or just write something to our dear mums.

What do you all think?

Love from
Sam
xoxoxoxox

deleted_user 04/16/2008

I think that would be lovely. I won't be here of course. My husband has planned our family vacation that weekend. At first I was a little tiffed about it because I wanted to spend most of the day at my mom's gravesite but the more I got to thinking about it I thought it may just do me some good to not be around here. It may just do me some good to get away from it all. After all here is where we spent last mother's day together the whole day and I am not ready to see that day come let alone have all the memories of last mothers day come flooding back. Then to top it off my baby was born the very day after Mothers day last year. Oh God how I wish I could skip mother's day this year. Hugs to you Sam.
Love and hugs,
Angela

deleted_user 04/16/2008

Im dreading it. Last year when my Mom was so sick,I was walking just as you mentioned everything reminded me that she would not be here this year.. I was holding back tears. I think It would be a wonderful idea to remember our Moms here.D

deleted_user 04/16/2008

My mother passed 12-12-2002. When mother's day that next year rolled around I had the hardest time. I believe that was the moment that it all hit me that she was gone and I could never call her or see her again. Just to hear "Mommy Loves You" One more time at the end of a phone call would have been wonderful. I sadly avoid mother's day at all costs, but it's not easy. I am raising my mom's three youngest and they want to celebrate her and me for taking care of them. Mother's day is the most emotional day of the year for me over all others.

I would love to give tribute here. Sam, that was a great idea and I am SO sorry to hear of your recent loss. There is no loss like a mother's.

Shauna

deleted_user 04/16/2008

Oh, Sam so sorry u r having such a rough time. I know the pain and sadness that u feel. You are always here for all of us. You always have such kind words. I hope that your heart can heal soon. Iam sorry your kids are not treating you well.Do u think maybe they dont know how to act around you right now? How old, are they teens? Becuse if so they are probally tied up in there own lives. I love the idea of coming her on Mothers day. I personally am going to take the day off from here. Maybe I could post the night before. I really think this site might not help me on that day. Fear I guess of the day. I was out party shopping yesterday, even the party stores had Mothers day cards. Normally I would have looked at them and probally read some. But not this year.. No way.. no how..I hope the tears stop soon. Shelly

Marysgirl 04/16/2008

Hi, I am new to this site. My mom died of brain cancer Dece 13, 2007. I know what you mean about Mother's Day. I have 2 sons, one married and lives 3,000 miles away, the other in the Navy. My mom loved birds, so I bought a birdbath, a squirrel proof bird feeder and birdseed to set up a mini bird retreat in her honor. It reminds me of good times I had with her. I am still trying to figure out Mother's Day. My husband is working, and my brother and sister have their kids close by. One of the things depressing me is my kids are so far away. The idea of a tribute to our moms here is great. I can think of a lot of good things to say about my mom, my best friend.

deleted_user 04/16/2008

This will actually be my third Mother's Day without my Mom, wow, that seems unreal to even say. I walked into the card store last week for a birthday card, not even thinking, and there it was to smack me right in the face. Mother's Day. Guess I'll bring flowers to the cemetery for her. My husband and kids will do something for me I'm sure, but it's not the same.

deleted_user 04/16/2008

I was thinking about that myself. That I should try to write something that could be a poem but I'm not good at writing. Then I also thought about doing something fun on mother's day. Something mom would have loved to do. Mom loved the zoo, going to the movies, watching the waves at the ocean... I thought I could just do something in her memory.

It was my brother and my tradition to get mom a hanging plant too. I'm still going to get one and hang it at my house. I also thought of ordering my grandma one. Mom did that and grandma said that she was going to have to get herself one.

I know it is going to be hard but what I'm thinking of doing is things that honor her memory and she would love to happen. It would feel like I'm still giving her a mother's gift. It is mother's day and a day to honor mom's and that is what I still plan on doing. It will just be the first time without her.

Hope that helps some of you.
Lynn

deleted_user 04/16/2008

Sam, I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. Believe me, I certainly understand. It is all so fresh. I love the idea of honoring our mothers this year. My daughter may come home but not my son. I don't know what I will do. I was thinking about releasing some balloons and buying a plant. I know that mom would want me to smile this day and I will try my hardest but know it will be a real struggle. Hope you can find some peace. Take good care. Love, Sharon

deleted_user 04/16/2008

I know what you mean, it really started hitting me just today. I will be buying my sister a mothers day card, but our first without our mom. We will probably go to the cemetary and sob...........If you want to get away, you should. You are the mother now and should have a nice day. I have found that most people totally get how hard it is to lose a mom; I have cried in public before or have been on the verge. Many people out there are really compassionate. Whatever you do, have a nice day, and Happy Mothers day to You...........

deleted_user 04/16/2008

I am seeing all of the Mother's Day things, and every time I do, my heart skips a beat. I feel like I will need to stay out of those shops until after the day is over.

I don't know how I am going to get through it -- I don't know how my dad is going to get through it! It's hard and I am really dreading it, too.

deleted_user 04/16/2008

I was with my youngest daughter, Aimee, (who is one of my few rocks for me to lean on)today and she asked me what I wanted to do for Mother's Day. I was dumbfounded - what do I want to do? She said she'd been thinking about it for awhile and whatever I wanted was ok with her but she would like to be with me. What am I going to do? I don't know - any suggestions?

deleted_user 04/16/2008

Mothers day and her birthday hit me the hardest. I really try not to think about it...don't cry...be strong....everyone is expecting you to loose it so prove them wrong! Is what I constantly tell myself. And then I think wait she was my whole world!!! I need to celebrate her and maybe spend some time alone just me and her (in my heart). I think about how much she loved flowers! (she loved anything that I gave her)I think it is good to have a good cry and just miss her sometimes. I miss her so much sometimes that I can feel my heart breaking all over again....I think that spending a little time nurturing yourself like your mother would do is just what the doctor ordered. I don't know if I'm just rambling on here....but that is how I deal with mothers day. I know your pain and I hope your day gets better!

deleted_user 04/16/2008

Sam- (((bighug))) I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now.
:( I know what you mean. I won't even walk down a card aisle in the drugstore. Can't handle it. I love your idea of the tributes~ we should have a tribute to our Mothers! That is a great idea! We should start two threads...one for poems/creative writing and one for letters to our Moms. What do you ladies think? Love-Holly

deleted_user 04/16/2008

Great idea Holly!
Thanks for the suggestions!
Sam

deleted_user 04/16/2008

My mother has been gone 10 years this year and i still find mothers day hard. When mum passed I used to give my older sister a mothers day present, then she passed and i just don't seem to cope very well on that day. I usually find a nice quiet spot and have a good cry, I try not to do it in front of my kids because i dont want to upset them. It is hard. I think a tribute would be a great idea. Take care. BIG HUGS

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