I have been away from the site last few weeks, we went on vacation. While we were gone (long road trip) I of course thought about Mum. I also came to a realization that my whole being has changed since she's been gone. It's not to say I am out-right miserable, but I am less happy, joyful now. I used to feel lighter and laugh lighter, know what I mean? When we were out on vacation in Disney- sure I was happy, but not the happy I was before. I guess one could even say that I am serious now. Before I felt guilty any time I had a good time after Mum passed. Now I know that was just a phase needed to be passed through, now no matter how hard I try I just can't get that back. I know she's up there cheering me on. I swear I can hear her say "call someone up and go for coffee". Problem is no one really understands why I am still having a hard time and quite frankly really don't feel up to an hour or two of bullshit pleasantries. Thanks for listening gals.
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