i was thinking about the last day mom was alive. I didn't go see her at the hospice. I went the day before and i just didn't like the way she looked so i didn't go see her. [BAD CHOICE]. Everyone told me she had a week or two to live, not a day. The next day my sister and a family friend went to see her and we decided that if she asked for me dad would drive me to her. We never got the call that she asked for me. She didn't remember me, that's how much f***ing morphine they put her on. It hurt so much, it still does. She didn't even remember me. It always makes me feel like i wasn't good enough, she never loved me. Then, that night, she died in her sleep. The next morning when my sister and i woke up and went downstairs dad said "your mom died". I miss her, i wish she had wanted to see me, i wish i hadn't been scared to see her. Why am i so stupid?!?!? i should've gone.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...