i was thinking about the last day mom was alive. I didn't go see her at the hospice. I went the day before and i just didn't like the way she looked so i didn't go see her. [BAD CHOICE]. Everyone told me she had a week or two to live, not a day. The next day my sister and a family friend went to see her and we decided that if she asked for me dad would drive me to her. We never got the call that she asked for me. She didn't remember me, that's how much f***ing morphine they put her on. It hurt so much, it still does. She didn't even remember me. It always makes me feel like i wasn't good enough, she never loved me. Then, that night, she died in her sleep. The next morning when my sister and i woke up and went downstairs dad said "your mom died". I miss her, i wish she had wanted to see me, i wish i hadn't been scared to see her. Why am i so stupid?!?!? i should've gone.
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