I lost my mum just over 2 weeks ago on 20th March. She had been ill for some time and it was expected. When she died, I was OK, keeping busy with arrangements for the funeral and the arrival of family, managing to get through every day, not able to sleep properly at night - I was a bit like the swan on the river, above water calm and collected, under the water I was swimming like mad to keep myself stable. I have found this exhausting and have now given in to the raging torrent and allowed myself to feel the emotions I have over the loss of my mother. That was when I thought I was going mad - couldn't stop crying, no energy, losing my temper with colleagues for petty things I would have coped with before. This page has been a huge support to me since I did the google search for bereavement support (after I was told that I would have to wait another 2 weeks to start counselling). I'm still not sleeping (no problems getting to sleep but can't stay asleep), but I am crying less (I still cry at your stories and I will keep you all in my prayers) and I hope to be able to go back to work soon and manage my professional life as I used to do. Thank you all for showing me that what I am going through is a natural process in response to losing someone who meant so much to me. Thank you all for being there when I needed you! Debbie
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