I still need her. I still want her. I still have questions that only she can answer. I still want her to tell me stories and tell me things only she can tell me. I feel like I lost a part of me because she's my mommy, but also because only she remembers things, events, and facts about myself when I was younger. It's like I've lost a part of my already incomplete life history. She's all I've ever had. I still need her hugs, her talks, her annoying things, her everything. I want to be able to have access to or visits with her like in my extremely painful dream. I'm not okay that she's just not there anymore. I don't even live in the same house that we last lived in together. I don't have her presence by being in the same place as we were with her things and my things in the places they're supposed to be. We weren't done. We still had things to do and to share. I miss our dynamic/how we were together. I'm not quite like that with anyone else.
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