My mother was my best friend, I mean when we could we did everything togather. I rember my mom and step dad moved to Ohio,well I wasn't far behind,me and my ex-husband moved from AR. to Ohio as well. I would drop my kids off at school and I was on my way to my moms.It was our daily routine for me to go to Duncan Doughnnuts and I would get us toasted bagles with cream cheese and jelly and get mom coffee.We would go to yard sells religiously,I am telling you this woman was my best friend.We found out she had breast cancer in AR. but she was going to the doctor,well the cancer spread,ended up in her limp nodes, she was just getting sicker & sicker and loosing weight, I took care of her the best I could,I rember 1 night she was in the hospital she had said some person came in and prayer for her, I was in denial and I said mom no one needs to pray for you,you are fine. I was hoping and praying myself she wouldn't ever leave me.She was joking with me one night and she said if anything ever happens to me you promise not to go to yard sells without me, I said I promise.When my mom was dying I still lived in OH. when they told me she was getting really bad and asking for me I fly from OH. to CA. where she had moved to get help from my family the worse she got. When I got there the family was just staring at her,she was propped up in her chair,she had drool coming out, I was upset no one wipped her mouth so I got a piece of toliet paper and they all said put on gloves you are not supposed to get the fluids on you. I DID NOT put on gloves,this was my mother,my life, and I wipped her mouth. They said she had quit taking her pain medicine,but when I got there my aunt got one down here but she didn't swallow it,my aunt just kinda put under her tounge. They ended up putting her in the bed and she just layed there with her eyes closed. I don't know why I feel bad that I did this but I fell asleep next to my mom, the next thing I rember is waking up and everyone was crying I asked my sister why she didn't wake me up,she said Cara I tried I shook you and you didn't wake up,well shortly after I was up my mom took her last breath and that was it,she was gone, my best friend was taken from me, why???? I don't know why I fell asleep, did a part of me die with my mother? I always told her you can't die, if you do I want to die also and be buried on top of you. I grieve for my mom daily and I miss her more than anything. I feel I have no one to talk me through life, I feel like I am half a person. I lost my father when I was 10. I am truly alone.
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