I had 3 weeks of peace in my soul, peace I never thought I would feel. I suppose, I should be grateful for that. The pain crept back, as I knew it would but is so hard to bare. The tears are endless. Been crying since Saturday night. I've been waiting for it to stop, holding on tight but I can't any longer. I wish I could be stronger and didn't have to complain and post all these whinings. I just have no one to go to with the tears and pain who will understand. I miss mom so much and I'm so sad that my family will never be the same: My dad, my siblings. I miss my old family so much, the laughter with my mom there: The glue she was has separated. I wish I could have it back. My family is forever changed without my mom. It's hard to concentrate. I have two kids and a husband but grieveing has changed me. I know I do the best I can and try to hide the pain from my kids, as much as possible but they are not blind. They can see my tears and hear my pain.
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