We all grieve in different ways and progress or not progress at different rates. I am not by nature a sad person. I like to laugh, smile and enjoy life, being with people and love nature. But yet, I find that 9 months after my mom has passed, I am sad and continue to grieve. Many will say that this is too long and I should be enjoying life again. I have not chosen this as some might suggest. I am struggling more than when my dad passed, but now, I am an orphan. I did not love him any less, but I still had my mom. I am an orphan now. I also had my kids at home then and no, I am not saying I depend on them for my happiness and my well being. What I am trying to say is that those of us that continue to struggle I don't believe it means we are not happy by nature or that we don't want to be happy again. I sure do. But I am not yet and don't want others to expect me to be. I found a book at the library - "If I Could Mend Your Heart" which I think is wonderful. Here is just one thing from the book: "If I could mend your heart...I would promise not to say, "Look how well you're doing," or, "Cheer up, God wouldn't give ou more than you could handle," or "You'll be over this soon." Instead, I would whisper in your ear, "We live in a fragile and imperfect world tinged by brokenness and cloaked in unanswered questions. Some things truly aren't fair. This is hard." I have read this small book about three times. This book is the only thing I have telling me that I am ok with how I am now. No, I don't go around crying and maybe if I could, I might be better. But I really hate it when people insinuate that if you have not "gotten on with life" that you (I) just want to be sad. NOT true. Sharon
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