Today i went to my cousins bridal shower. I am happy for them. But then again it makes me sad. I am sad because my mom is not around to be there for me when that day (if) it comes. I see my aunts going nuts over the wedding. It was hard to be there because watching the bride and her mom interact makes me sad, and i start thinking that im never gonna have that. I feel so cheated that she left me so early. I wish that i was able to be 50 or older and still had her around for at least that long. I sit there and i feel so alone and left out. The wedding is coming up and its going to be fun and all but there is still going to be a part of me that makes me sad. The wedding is just a reminder that she is not here with me. Part of me doesnt want to go because i know the pain will be there and probably make me cry. Okay enough of my ranting. thanks for reading
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