Well I just got back from my vacation. I thought about you all on Sunday. I hope that everyone was ok throughout the day. I did ok I guess. I woke up to a barage of Happy Mother's days and then I started crying and had to throw up. So I spent about 20 minutes on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out. Then I got an unexpected call from my cousin who my mom raised and it made me cry again. It was very sweet of him to call me because honestly we havn't been very close way before my mom died. Then my husband had the bright idea to go shopping which didn't help because I had to try not to cry the whole time. And when we got back from shopping I cried for a long time on the porch and downstairs with my step dad. It hurt so bad not being able to call her and say Happy Mothers day to. It was so hard to realize that I would never have a mother to call again and to watch everyone around me call their mothers was so damn hard it killed me. And to be honest the vacation was just plain ok. It wasn't great. I didn't get to relax because we were in a 3 story cabin and I had to run after the baby the entire time and noone would help me or give me a chance to relax a bit. I didn't even get to go in the hot tub because I couldn't take the baby in and when I went in the jacuzzi bath tub I had to take her with me because noone would watch her for me. I know if my mom were there she would have given me at least a half an hour to take a bath alone. And she would have sat in the house with me when I couldn't take the baby outside because it was unsafe. To be honest I was happy to be with my husband and kids but I could have stayed at home and been more relaxed. But at least I got away from here to a change of scenery so I guess I should be more thankful. Big Hugs to all. I will post pictures later. ~Angela
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