I feel I don't have the right to cry to you ladies right now because I've been so busy (thus absent) lately. But, tonight I am really just broken. I miss Mom so much and you are the only ones who understand this heartbreak. I am trying to figure out how to live life without her and it's just impossible. I keep thinking about this exact time last year...how I was in my final months with her and we didn't know it. I keep thinking of every little thing we did during this time period, every little thing she said or did and wishing with all my might to have her back. I feel like she is becoming a memory...and I just can't handle that...it just makes me sick. I've been crying for the past 5 hours and just can't stop. I miss everything about her...I want my Mom, my best friend back. Life is so lonely and empty without her. It's hard to believe that things will never be "happy" again. And they won't...that is just the way it is. I need her so much! This pain, the tears, the heartbreak...WHY? Thank you for listening...I am just so torn apart and I know you all are too and that you'll understand my weakness. Love-Holly
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