I've just vegetated today - but it's depression. Really bad. This afternoon I realized how empty everything is without Mom - there's just sadness. I watch DVDs I took of her last months - not realizing who she was talkig to (sometimes she couldn't hear) - but still the same script - telling me to eat, that I'm my own boss in the house. Not anymore, Mama. I don't enjoy doing anything anymore without her here. Even if we were arguing - but together - she was here. Nothing's any fun anymore. Sound corny? I don't do anything. Today, it was lucky I got dressed. Don't tell me - I know it's depression.
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