I feel bad for coming here lately just when I need to vent. I miss not being a part of this group on a daily basis. I have had a rough patch through the holiday season, my birthday and her's. Her's the hardest yet, that was the last day I would spend With her! Coming up on one year here on the 9th. I am crying at a drop of a hat, confused, mad, angry, lonely. My husband tries so hard and I put a wedge between us. he leaves in six weeks with the Navy overseas for seven months. Mom would be the one to take care of me during these hard times. I feel so alone and sad now I can not imagine what I will feel when I watch him get on that plane and leave me for so many months. I feel hopeless. My heart continues to break ever single day. When does it get easier to deal with. Her death was so sudden and unexpected at age 55, I struggle with how she was robbed of her life. My memories of her lately have not been the ones I have had in the past. Just flashes of missing HER. Now I see her in her daily life and in my dreams like she never left. It's tearing me up. Not sure why I came here today, I guess just to write it all out. Hoping to make light of my confusion. Life as I knew is no longer and never will be. I am desperately lost with out this women in my daily life as she always was. I miss her more than words can ever say.
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