I did not go into this day expecting it to be bad. I couldn't imagine it being a good day, but I thought for sure if I stayed optimistic it might not be completely horrible. Who was I trying to kid, I don't think a day has gone by were I have missed my mother more then I missed her today. I just kept having the same thought over and over again, "I just want to visit with my mom on mothers day, I want to kiss her cheek, give her a hug and a card." It was such an overwhelming need that I completely broke down on the way to the grocery store. It had been a stressfull morning and I stole away to get some groceries just when my two year old started having a melt down. Alone for the first time in a long time I was so over come with grief that I almost had to pull the car over. Later this evening when the day was over, dinner done and the baby asleep, I tried so hard to express to my husband just how bad I was feeling. It is not easy for me to show weakness or sadness, and when I finally thought that I could just curl up and cry in his arms, HE FALLS ASLEEP. Yes, asleep. So once again I am overcome with this profound sence of lonliness and emptiness. Does he even get it? Are all men completely blind or just the ones I am left with? I just wish my mom was here.
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