It has almost five months since my mother died and I still fell like we made a mistake. She was sick, fighting cancer for 4 1/2 years, but her death came quick and unexpected in less then three days. She was put under with heavy pain medication on a Monday, my Father signed the DNR later that night and she died two days later on Wednesday. Till this day I can't help but feel that we gave up on her to fast. I hate to think badly of my father or doubt his better judgement but I can't help but feel like he jumped the gun. I found out later that the doctor had made a few suggestions that might have helped but the chances were very slim. I wonder why he didn't even want to try. Logic tells me that he and my mother probably discussed her end in detail, that this is what she wanted, but in my mind I see her watching her last days and begging silently not to let her die. She didn't want to die. I hate feeling this way.
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