I'm new here, my mom's been gone about 10 wks and it seems to hurt worse every day. I'm 43 yrs old, I should be ok, but I'm not. I miss her so bad I want to die myself to get away from the pain. All I can see is her laying in her hospital bed at the end. I'm barely functional most of the time and I don't care about anything anymore it seems. My husband found this site for me. I don't know why I'm here. Please don't talk to me about faith. I've lost so much in my life (in addition to my mom), that I no longer believe in a benevolent god who loves us unconditionally. All I really believe in is hell on earth, I KNOW that exists. I hope the rest of you find support at this site.
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As some of you know I moved to a new city 2 months ago where I only know my dgt and her fiance. I left a place I had many friends and family. As I attempt to adjust to the move I feel stuck. I kind of know the steps I must take to rebuild but my energy for tackling it has been lacking. The last time I felt like this was after I lost my wife. At that time I spent stuck for 2 years...
Yesterday I had a really off day. I am still adjusting to a new city where I know few people other than my dgt and soninlaw and I was really missing the large group of family and friends I left behind. Of course the thoughts started to slip in my mind how much easier this move would be if my wife was still alive to share it with me. I could feel myself slipping into despair and decided...