I can't help but read all the sad threads and feel for everyone. I have to share my story with you so that it might give someone hope. I had many years of grief. I lost my first pregnancy, I had a miscarriage early on. I came close to losing my second pregancy but with 5 months of bedrest, I was blessed with a son. I lost my third pregnancy at 28 weeks. I knew something was wrong, the baby had not moved for many hours. I went in for an ultrasound and was told the baby was not alive. I had to wait for my body to go into labor and after a week, they finally induced me. We named him Joshua and his funeral was the first funeral I had ever attended in my life. I wanted to die. I was so depressed and sad for many months. I felt like it was my fault, I had done something wrong. I neglected my son who was 14 months at the time. I finally realized that my son who was with me was suffering cause his mommy was so down and sad. I decided one day that I need to be a better mom and live life again. I got help by seeing a counselor and using medication. One year later, I got pregnant again but I had another miscarriage. My fifth pregnancy went well and I had bleeding off and on and was put on bedrest again but I had a healthy son. Four years later, I got brave and got pregnant one last time. My husband and I decided that this would be the last pregnancy ever for me no matter what the outcome. We had been through enough stress, pain, ups and downs. I was blessed with a baby girl.
I am telling my story cause I feel for those of you who have recently lost a baby. The pain never goes away but it gets dimmer. Life goes on and things will go your way and you can be happy again. It will get easier to talk about the lost baby.Don't try to ignore or forget what happened. People will say the wrong things and you have to forgive them. They don't know what to say or do. Keep a journal, pictures if you have them, poems, make a scrapbook in your babies honor. Find something that reminds you of them. For me it is butterflies. There were butterflies all over the cemetary the day we buried Joshua and now when I see one, I think of him. I cry less and dwell less on the pain than I use to. You may never know why it happened but you can choose to learn from it. I learned to be a better mom. I learned to be more patient and caring and have sympathy for people going through problems. I learned to believe in heaven and my 3 kids know they have a brother and other siblings up there watching over them.

You will get through this. It will take time. Grieve all you need to. Don't try to be strong for everyone else. If you are in a relationship, try hard not to let this put a wall up between you. go to counseling together, read books, cry together. Don't blame each other or turn away from one another. Men grieve also but they hide it better.

I just want everyone to know there is hope and life can be good again.
Debbie