I had a really bad day yesterday. I went to my husbands softball tournament where there was lots of kids and a pregnant wife of one of our teams players and just a lot of talk about babies. Also, people whispering Congrats to my sister so I wouldnt hear and be upset even though I knew what was being said. I came home and cried and my anxiety flew through the roof. I didnt go to work Friday and was horrified to be fired and then to make it even worse I didnt go today. I actually was scared to go to work and be fired so stayed home thinking somehow that would change anything. I called my dr (my reg one, not ob) to see if she can help with the anxiety and trying to move forward with this before I lose everything. I think I am ok with work. They are issuing me fmla paperwork for the dr to fill out. I feel like I have hit rock bottom and I dont know where to begin to start slowly pulling myself up. I think my husband is mad at me for not going to work and I cant say I blame him. My mind has a horrible way of taking over and ruining things for me. My anxiety started when I was 16 and my grandma died. Since then, it gets bad when bad things happen in my life. This miscarriage I think has been the worse so far. I have been put on meds before which I dont want to take. I know exercise really helps but my body hasnt felt good enough to go work out. I feel like I am stuck and I need to do some positive things before I lose everything I have. I am praying to god I dont lose my job and I will not miss another day of work. Does anyone have any tips that may help me? :(
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