I had just returned from a Halloween-themed zoo trip with my parents, 2-year-old little boy, and husband when I noticed the bleeding. I was about 5 weeks pregnant. My parents stayed with my son while my husband rushed me to the emergency room while I cried histerically. I waited in emotional agony for hours. After some tests, and a few more agonizing hours, I found out that I was pregnant with twins, but there were no guarantees. After a few days of extreme physical pain and more tests and doctor visits, it was certain. I was losing both babies. I went to the hospital for a D&C. I thought they were going to throw my babies in the trash, so I was again histerical. I basically had to beg them to give me something to calm me. Due to my huge fear of being put to sleep, I asked to be awake during the procedure, so I could say goodbye to my babies. After my husband was forced to leave the room, the anesthesiologist slipped a drug into my IV, which was behind me where I couldn't see it, that put me to sleep. I woke up and didn't know what happened. I didn't understand why I couldn't remember anything. I immediately started asking questions, but the nurses ignored me and took me back to my room. I told my husband and sister-in-law what happened, and they got pissed and demanded answers. They got the anesthesiologist on the phone with me, who told me I gave him permission to put me under in the "fine print". I was crying and kept saying"I just wanted to tell them goodbye". He actually said to me that that was silly because my babies were only blood and tissue. I couldn't feel my legs, but I was struggling to get out of the bed so I could go beat that man's ass. Then, a few days later, someone who doesn't like me told my husband that our babies deserved to die. I don't know how to get past this. I keep getting diaper samples and coupons, and I get upset all over again. Any advice?
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