I lost my son in March at 20wks and I still dont know how to live life. I have 3 living children ages 2 6 and 9. I dont know if I'll ever be truly happy agian. I feel like a bad mother cause i was suppose to protect him and I didnt. I have so much guilt cause I feel like I let everyone done my husband my kids and my family. I thought I had it all figured out my life was perfect but on March 10 2009 my world crumbled. I still cant bring myself to talk about it the pain is too much. I feel like if I'm happy its wrong because my baby is not here with me and I dont deserve happiness. Why me? I thought I was a good person my children are the world to me I would give my life for them. My other children suffer because I cant seem to fight through the emptyness sorrow and pain. I just need to know that maybe somewhere out there someone understands me. I wouldnt wish this pain on my worst enemy but I need to know that I'm not crazy that there are others who have went through the same thing to know that maybe just maybe there might be if nothing else a dim light or glow at the end of the tunnel.
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