I will be 4 weeks past my d&e tomorrow... and the thing that is hard for me is to find people in my life who understand how sad I still am. I still cry every day about our son and how unfair it feels not to have him or at least be still pregnant with him. I go back and forth between hope for the future and despair at what I have lost. People assume I am "over" this loss and I guess I let them think that, but I am crying on the inside and it feels tough to mark the 4 weeks point-- that somehow moving away from this moves me away from the baby I love so much and want to be near. Does anybody know what I mean? I want to get away from the pain of this experience, but I can't help but to feel I am leaving my baby behind. I am so very sad tonight and I just want my baby back... and my "tough" exterior makes those around me think I am ok and while I guess I am, I am still so sad and don't even know how to explain it to those who have never had this happen. Thanks for listening.
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