Miscarriage Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

964 Members
12,889 Posts
0 Online
Women's Health
/ Miscarriage Support Group

Too soon for sex?

deleted_user
deleted_user
First, please do not think I am some kind of crazy horn ball for asking this, but...
Did you all wait until the standard 2 weeks before you and your DH had sex again after the m/c? I ask because I am not quite 2 weeks, only a week and a half, but we have not had sex in over 4 weeks because when I found out we were pg we were told to hold off until after the u/s. The u/s obviously did not go well so it has been quite a while.
Right now, I need to be close to my hubby in that way to feel "NORMAL" again....I know that sounds weird, but that is how I feel. I need to be able to feel normal after all this.
Thanks!
deleted_user
deleted_user
We did wait. We actually waited for like two months one before the miscarriage and one after (it took a long time to get my post-mc check up). But I totally understand what you're saying. It was totally frustrating for us to wait so long and lose our baby.
The only thing I would say is that moving too fast isn't going to make anything easier and you have to make sure you're healed physically so you don't do any permanent damage.
But you can always be intimate in other ways. It's not always about intercourse.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We waited just in case. But I think its how you feel. If its uncomfortable, whatever, then stop. If not, i'd think it'd be okay. The biggest concern my dr had was to make sure my levels were 0 before there was any chance of me gettng pg again.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I probably should have clarified...I do not mean the trying to get pregnant sex, just in general to be close to him. We are having some testing done, so we are not even thinking of trying until we know the results and know what the game plan is for us in the future.

Thank you for your responses. I just like to get an idea of whether I am crazy for feeling that way or not! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I probably should have clarified...I do not mean the trying to get pregnant sex, just in general to be close to him. We are having some testing done, so we are not even thinking of trying until we know the results and know what the game plan is for us in the future.

Thank you for your responses. I just like to get an idea of whether I am crazy for feeling that way or not! :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
My OB told me to wait 4 weeks. My 4 weeks are finally up yet I have NO DESIRE to have sex at all. Not only that I really haven't stopped bleeding either.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We waited longer than 2 weeks. We didn't do anything until after my 4 week apt and we were cleared to do so. I know it will make you feel normal, but you have to allow you body to heal so that if you decide to TTC again your body will be ready and you won't hinder your healing which can hinder TTC efforts down the road.
deleted_user
deleted_user
After my SB they told us "nothing in there for 30 days"/ 15 days later we were having sex. Really, I felt like you did. My husband was there for me and took such good care of me it brought us closer! So I wanted to have sex with him. Honestly, I shouldn't tell you to go against what your md says, but I did and it made us closer. Also, you could find other ways to be close in that way without penetration. Good luck, and if you need anything give a holler.
Maggie
deleted_user
deleted_user
My OB said to wait 2 weeks for fear of infection. I had a D&C so I am not sure if it is the same situation. I do know others who had a D&C and did not wait and were just fine. It has been almost 6 weeks since we had a stillborn and I am not ready to be intimate at all. So sorry for your loss Good Luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
We waited, but I was crazy horny for those two weeks. I think its because your body knows it's not pregnant and didn't have a baby, and is trying to become pregnant again. One of nature's little defense mechanisms.
deleted_user
deleted_user
The intimacy can be healing, so I know what you mean. It's better to be close than to let the loss drive a wedge in between you. It's a deeply personal choice.

Because I had a D&C the first time, I did wait due to risk of infection. I expect I'll wait this time around too (mostly because sex is the last thing on my mind as I wait to miscarry a blighted ovum).
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was told to wait 4 weeks...of course I had a D&C so I'm not sure if it's different. I also did not stop bleeding until the middle of the the third week and so I was not interested at all until after that at least had stopped. My husband and I did keep that close bond by doing other things that brought us together.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know exactly how you feel...
I was told about 3 weeks...
I waited two...
Same thing happened as you but better safe than sorry ...
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • GrassIsGreen

    acknowlodging

    Posted by: GrassIsGreen
    Last Reply: GrassIsGreen
    15
    I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
  • irishwriter

    come unwind in the bp lounge

    Posted by: irishwriter
    Last Reply: irishwriter
    7904
    theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??