My Grandma said that we dont know why God does the things he does but we have to trust him.

My mom said everybody carries a different cross, this is yours and God wouldnt have given it to you if he didnt think you were strong.

I've heard alot of not so nice comments the past few days (from my family). However, I got a phone call from my Priest back home. This man is not the normal Priest who always wears a black and a white collar. He is very down to Earth. His name is Father Tom and we named our son Mark Thomas (Thomas being after Father Tom.) He called me to tell me that he was so honored that we gave our son his name and that he feels as if he has an angel always with him.

I don't know, but just by him telling me that just made me feel good inside. I don't know if it's because I am hearing it from a Priest or because he wasn't telling me to "snap out of it."

Long after the fact I learned that as soon as my Sister in law heard the news she immediately contacted someone she knew who'd had the same experience to ask her what NOT to say. She then passed all that feedback on to my family. I felt very touched when I learned that.

As soon as my brother found out what happened he drove 3 hrs from his home to be with me and my husband in the hospital. He stayed there with me when my husband had to look in on the kids. My brother told me he was here for me. He even held me while I cried and he told me that he will always be here for me. It's been a little over 4 months since I lost my daugther and he still calls to check up on me. He sent me this letter a week after being home fom the hospital.
Dear Kara'
I've tried for a week now to think of the words that would express the heaviness of my heart and the sorrow I feel as I watch you, Tony, Logan and Brandon deal with this difficult time. But as I talked to with you this wk end I was made to realize that, while you appericate the words of sympathy, you don't need me to tell you how sorry I am. You reminded me that the most important thing I can do is make sure you know that I am here for you and will always be here for you.Please know that I am here for you and I love you. I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't always been the brother you need or deserve. There have no doubt been many times that a big brother was what you needed most, yet I wasn't there for you in the way you needed me. While I can't go back and fix those moments, I can make sure you know I'm here for you now. Wether it be someone to talk with late at night, someone to sit with you and cry with you, or someone to give you a hug and a much needed laugh, whatever the need...I'm here for you. Please know that when I say you can always reach out to me, I mean it sincerely. I hope you never let anything keep you from reaching out to me if you need someone.Always remember I love you Kara. You, Tony , Logan, Brandon and Trisha will always me in my prayers.
Your Brother,
Keith
ps. A donation to the diabetes center has been made in honor and in memory of Trisha. Every year on her birthday a donation will be made in her memory.(I'm diabetic and that's what caused complactions that contributed to our daugther's loss.

Sorry so long. Just wanted to share how much my brother has been here for me.

What I remember most , were the acts of absolute kindness vs. the actual words. My Mom/Dad, sister and mother in law who live in Florida called me almost everyday to see how myself and my hubby were doing. The good friends that stopped by and provided hugs and love that let us know they cared. Even the minister, whom I never met before, gave my daughter a memorable and beautiful funeral service. All of those acts helped to make the days a little bit easier.
Thanks for sharing the good things Holly! Hugs ! Dawn

Some of the nice things that happened with us after the loss of out child was: My mohter brought me a white mum to plant in my garden and made dinner - chicken noodle soup and oreo cookies. My boss and his wife sent me a lovely card telling me to take time for my self and not to worry about work. They also shared that they had loss a child. My son and neices and nephew all drew/made cards for me to cheer me up the day I cam home from the hospital. I recieved a long letter from a friend (not real close) that I had not seen in 6 months and just happened to pass on the street and told her I had loss the baby. The letter told me of her experence of lossing her baby and how she thinks of her baby ever year on the day she lost her baby and that it is ok to feel sad. I felt this was so nice of her to share with me. All the above items also gave me something to place in the memory box I have for the baby so it was not just an ultra-sound picture and pregnancy test.

I told my mom that I was sorry for talking about my losses so much and I felt like I was burdening her with my problems. She told me that she is my mother and that she is there to take some of the pain away. I love her so much.

I went to my doctor's appt. 2 weeks after my D&C and as I was leaving the nurse said "I'll see you soon."

This person didn't know it, but she made my day last Sunday. She asked me where the toy isle was. I told her and she told me she asked me because I looked like a mom. I told her I wasn't. It made me feel so good.

My partner said that God had taken our Baby Bear to a safe place, to deliver our child to us when we could creat a more perfect/stable body to house her soul.
Although she only spoke to comfort, it really gave me a sense of peace to think that maybe I would see my Baby Bear again after all.

Some of my favorites. . .

One was from a very sweet lds lady I work with who said, "we believe that some souls weren't meant to come to full term, that they were pure souls."

A friend, maybe you just loved this baby so much that she didn't have any more lessons to learn.

Thoses are some of the most comforting. . .

My Boyfriend Held Me In his Arms The whole week He didnt go to work and one day he just looked at me tears In his eyes and said Our baby will Be back sweety Baby just wants the timeing to be perfect...you are the most wonderful woman in the world and deserve happiness more than anyone I know I promise sweety one day baby will be in our arms....Keep faith sweety...
I love him more than words can describe.....

My co-workers sent a bouquet of flowers and a card with inspiring quotes and psalms I found that so nice.

...My mom went to the store and found a cute little toy that was in baby blue...It said our little peanut which is what me and my boyfriend call the baby because it was so cute and small when we saw the ultrasounds...She told me that she had asked god for a sign and then after church she found the little toy and only in blue which meant to her that baby was a boy and I will have that little boy in the future....she took me and her arms and told me she loved me and wished that she could take away the pain...

My Brother in law hugged me and said you need love now more than ever...and told me dont worry one day you and your hubby will have the baby in your arms ...

My mother in law just passed away 3wks ago after battling cancer for 5yrs. She told me right before she died that she was going to Heaven to take care of our little girl for us. I love and miss them both so much.