today i feel really shitty. really hurt and shit because my boyfriend hurt me so much last night. i know now he doesnt care about our baby we lost. prob because i was only 7 weeks along or some other stupid reason.
well last night we had a silly argument about sex, i feel so shitty about myself at the min i started going on about his ex and what he would do with her etc, comparing myself like a stupid woman!!! i made some stupid remarks about one of my exes just because he didnt seem to care how i was feeling, i dunno it was stupid anyway. lots of things were said, i ended up in tears and everytime i feel upset i start to really think about the miscarriage. to be honest all this anger and mood swings at the min are all to do with the miscarriage. i started to talk about our baby and how i wanted the baby back so much and he said to me.......well it wasnt even a baby anyway! he then said again when i looked at him that it wasnt a proper baby anyway. AS IF I SHOULD STOP GETTING UPSET. i find that comment sick! i dont even wanna talk to him, i couldnt sllep last night, i just wanna cry. ive got a pounding headache. we have argued again this morning beacuse my sn woke up early i kinda wanted him to take him down coz ive been up all night, im not sleeping at all recently. he makes me feel bad coz he gets up with my son most mornings but im so exhausted coz i dont sleep. what am i supposed to do about comments like that?? he was saying before he said that nasty thing that i need to get iver it, move on, that crying wont bring it back, that its gone and i need to deal with it...blah blah blah. coming from the obviously heartbroken man!
im so pissed off! now i really do feel alone! no one knows either, no family. i wasnt gonna tell anyone till i was 12 weeks and when i m/c i didnt wanna upset anyone. i live quite far from my friends and family, i moved away to live with him and i feel so bloody alone. he comes out with shit like that to me and now i dont know what to do. i hate this!