
Miscarriage Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have experienced the traumatizing event of a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Miscarriage remains one of the most common complication of pregnancy, but that doesn't make it easy to deal with. Join the group and find support in the company of others who know what you're going through.

deleted_user
today i feel really shitty. really hurt and shit because my boyfriend hurt me so much last night. i know now he doesnt care about our baby we lost. prob because i was only 7 weeks along or some other stupid reason.
well last night we had a silly argument about sex, i feel so shitty about myself at the min i started going on about his ex and what he would do with her etc, comparing myself like a stupid woman!!! i made some stupid remarks about one of my exes just because he didnt seem to care how i was feeling, i dunno it was stupid anyway. lots of things were said, i ended up in tears and everytime i feel upset i start to really think about the miscarriage. to be honest all this anger and mood swings at the min are all to do with the miscarriage. i started to talk about our baby and how i wanted the baby back so much and he said to me.......well it wasnt even a baby anyway! he then said again when i looked at him that it wasnt a proper baby anyway. AS IF I SHOULD STOP GETTING UPSET. i find that comment sick! i dont even wanna talk to him, i couldnt sllep last night, i just wanna cry. ive got a pounding headache. we have argued again this morning beacuse my sn woke up early i kinda wanted him to take him down coz ive been up all night, im not sleeping at all recently. he makes me feel bad coz he gets up with my son most mornings but im so exhausted coz i dont sleep. what am i supposed to do about comments like that?? he was saying before he said that nasty thing that i need to get iver it, move on, that crying wont bring it back, that its gone and i need to deal with it...blah blah blah. coming from the obviously heartbroken man!
im so pissed off! now i really do feel alone! no one knows either, no family. i wasnt gonna tell anyone till i was 12 weeks and when i m/c i didnt wanna upset anyone. i live quite far from my friends and family, i moved away to live with him and i feel so bloody alone. he comes out with shit like that to me and now i dont know what to do. i hate this!
well last night we had a silly argument about sex, i feel so shitty about myself at the min i started going on about his ex and what he would do with her etc, comparing myself like a stupid woman!!! i made some stupid remarks about one of my exes just because he didnt seem to care how i was feeling, i dunno it was stupid anyway. lots of things were said, i ended up in tears and everytime i feel upset i start to really think about the miscarriage. to be honest all this anger and mood swings at the min are all to do with the miscarriage. i started to talk about our baby and how i wanted the baby back so much and he said to me.......well it wasnt even a baby anyway! he then said again when i looked at him that it wasnt a proper baby anyway. AS IF I SHOULD STOP GETTING UPSET. i find that comment sick! i dont even wanna talk to him, i couldnt sllep last night, i just wanna cry. ive got a pounding headache. we have argued again this morning beacuse my sn woke up early i kinda wanted him to take him down coz ive been up all night, im not sleeping at all recently. he makes me feel bad coz he gets up with my son most mornings but im so exhausted coz i dont sleep. what am i supposed to do about comments like that?? he was saying before he said that nasty thing that i need to get iver it, move on, that crying wont bring it back, that its gone and i need to deal with it...blah blah blah. coming from the obviously heartbroken man!
im so pissed off! now i really do feel alone! no one knows either, no family. i wasnt gonna tell anyone till i was 12 weeks and when i m/c i didnt wanna upset anyone. i live quite far from my friends and family, i moved away to live with him and i feel so bloody alone. he comes out with shit like that to me and now i dont know what to do. i hate this!
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A guy thinks that his job is to fix things. this is something that he cant fix so he doesnt know how to handle it. Have you not seen him angry when he couldnt fix the tv or car... its kinda the same thing. To be perfectly honest women are the nurturers, that was Gods plan that is why you feel the pain so much deeper than he does nomatter how hard you try to make him feel the way that you do it prob wont happen, youre the mommy you know the feeling he just cant or doesnt know how.
This does not excuse his words. My husband and I have been going through a hard time and we are trying to learn to be more careful with our words. You and your significant other need to do this too. Its mind boggling to me how couples treat each other sometimes, im guilty of it too. We get comfortable and we forget that these people do not belong to us that they are gifts in our lives. WE think we can say or act however we want and because they love us they will never leave. Well if we love them we should cherish and respect them more than anything. i suggest you calmly sit down with him and in a kind soft tone talk about this and make and agreement between the both of you that you will make a stong effort to treat each other better. if you can do this I promise it will help if you do not I hate to say it but its just a matter of time until you will have had it. I will say a prayer for you and your family right now and I am here if you need a friend.
Maybe you could get him to read some of the posts on here and he might start to get an idea of what you're going through?
Or if you like you could add me on myspace and show him the blog i wrote about what I went through with my miscarriage, then he might understand a bit of what you're feeling? www.myspace.com/lost_my_sock
I lost MJ at 5 1/2 weeks a year and a half ago and it still hurts. I think it always will and we just need to learn how to live with it. It could be that he's just confused and doesn't know how to make things be ok again. Hang in there. *hugs*
Your baby does matter. You baby counts. Don't let anyone tell you any different.