Tomorrow will be a week since I learned we lost our miracle baby. Tomorrow will also be a week my husband and I planted the tulips, which are scheduled to blossom in May, the same month our little angel would have been born. We did this in memory of our little angel that went to heaven. That entire day it rained hard; a perfect way to begin the healing process. I hoped I would have miscarried at home after waiting one week, but tomorrow I am scheduled to have a D&C. I feel okay with this decision. I feel like I need an answer. I cannot help but feel so responsible for the loss of our miracle baby; perhaps with the pathology report, I will learn that perhaps, after all, I was not responsible. I know it sounds cowardly, but knowing this information will help me forgive myself, and perhaps stop hating myself. Thank you so much for all who have written to me. This support group is the only place I feel I can go to; the only place I feel held, comforted, understood. Thank you.
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