We all have our good days and bad days, you just have to remember like everybody says there is a reason for everything that happens. I know that may not help much. I just hope and pray for good out comings for everybody and I will be praying for God to give you the strength to get through!

I completely understand how you're feeling. I space out a lot of the time and don't even realize that I'm doing it.

I am an extremely outgoing person and have been trying to put on a personna that I'm doing great like you...but then I realized that I'm not being true to myself and my feelings.

I think a lot of the reason that you're "wanting" those bad days is because you're body feels more relaxed and free after expressing your feelings. Don't hold them in! Talk to us, talk to someone...cry it out. Just don't hold it in. We're not physically/mentally built to hold all our emotions in.

I promise that it will get better. Every person has a different coping method and some are better in a month and others take a year. Don't be too hard on yourself..what you're feeling is the same as what we've all felt losing a baby.

I'll be praying for you!!

greenergirl, you sound just like me a couple of weeks ago. Seemingly normal - like wearing a mask - but hollow inside. The good news is, it will pass. I am starting to feel like a butterfly coming out of it's cocoon. It just takes time. The spring weather will help, too. Try to get some sunshine, it can lift your mood. And feel what you need to feel.

Take care!

I feel like i don't want to let go of my grief because then I let go of my baby, i have nothing left of the baby if I let go of the grief. Being sad means he matterred. Being happy means he didn't even mean enough to impact my life.
I know that is stupid and doesn't make sense, but i feel better when I am sad, I feel closer to my baby. When I am crying I don't have this gnawing emptiness in my chest.