In some ways I agree with you. I think there are some differences, physically anyway, in having a stillbirth and going though L&D and having a more natural miscarriage. I wonder where I would fit though, I was induced and went through labor and delivery at 17 weeks. The state calls it a miscarriage, but I was far enough along that I had found out that she was girl. I'm not offended, I'm just pondering where some of the gals in my shoes would fit in.

Shayna, I'm in the same boat. I hadn't hit my 20 week mark, but I was induced, had regular labor, delivered a little boy so I feel I kinda fit "in the middle" if there is such a thing. Tamberly, I'm not offended either. But if I come up on a stillbirth community, I'll let you know.

I agree with the other two. Where do we fit in. I was 16 weeks along and knew what Nicholas was going to be. SO where do we all fit in. I am not offended, but again wonder where I would fit in as well.

Hey ladies, I'm with you in feeling like I'm not exactly in the right community. My daughter died just after her birth but this community is the closest that fits our situation (she didn't die from SIDS). I think what we all share is the loss of a child. We can all support each other in that although part of me does feel that separate could be a good thing.

I also feel like there should be two separate communities, but I know thats sad, because you think we could all bind together, but I often feel like we are definetaly segregated. . . Even those of us that have lost babies after 12 weeks, at 15 weeks or even 18 weeks, for some reason there is something about twenty weeks that just seperates us!

I really think we should all just support each other. There are so many people between the 12 and 20 week mark. There are so many people that lost their angels after 20 weeks and so many people before 12 weeks! All Losses hurt and I guess we should all just remember that. . .

Well maybe there should really be 4 different groups...Early Miscarriage, Late Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss. I know each and every one of us have pain and Hurt, we have all lost our babies, and we can all be friends it is just hard for me to come to the discussions on here because there are so many ladies that are dealing with early miscarriage that I don't think I feel like I can add advice or help out with. It sound like you all are kinda in the same boat as I am as far as not sure if you feel as if you are fitting in. HUGS to all and take care my friends

I had a m/c on Sept 30th (8 weeks along)- and I don't see any problem with two different communites. it is still a loss for me, of the "what ifs..." but I think I would have been evern MORE devistated by a still born death - I can't even imagine that - I am so sorry for your lose

I think a group for stillbirth would be good! I went to the hospital in labor thinking I was goin to bring my baby girl home I didnt know that anything was even wrong all through labor her heartbeat and everything was fine
while I was pushing to have her her cord was around her neck and they didnt know it so she died has she was being born! Most everyone here either miscarried or found out their baby died and had to be induced! either way it is a mother loosing their child , I think it is just a little easier to relate and help each other when our losses are more alike!

I feel like I would not know where to go, I delivered my son knowing he no longer had a heart beat and went through about 8 hours of labor before delivering him, I was 17 1/2 weeks pregnant. I understand not being able to relate to some people, but in my opinion we are all experiencing different feelings and experiences even if our stories are identical. I have found a few women who experienced the same thing as me and they seem to be handling it better than I. I think we all need to heal in different ways and finding people who have a similar story to ours helps to talk more intently and feel they understand just a little bit better than someone with a different experience. I know we are all feeling our loss, but I don't know how different the community would be if there were two spereate, I feel as though we all seem to be comforted by one another no matter our story. Tamberly, you especially helped me a lot when I first joined DS and our stories are different. I feel as though each women on DS has helped me to get through my hardest times. I thank all of the women on here for there help and support. If you need a seperate community to help you find your support that you have given so willingly than I support you 100% We all need to find what will help us heal. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers. I hope that you find the support you are looking for. xxxxx

Yes, I agree with you we should have a separate community. However, I think that we can be part of both of the communities since we have made some great friends on here.

I agree somewhat... I am a miscarriage girl, I have had three and from 4 weeks to 13. For me personally the pain was no different in the stages. I never saw my babies, well I take that back I saw a peach sized sac in my toilet and I didnt know what it was, or maybe i did I was too scared to look more, I kick my self all the time because I know now if I would have opened that sac I could have seen my baby. But the fact that Tamberly is getting at is true, yes these are two different things, stillbirth and miscarriage however in some ways they are a lot alike. I like being friens with the stillbirth mothers because I am a balanced translocation carrier and I have a higher chance of having a stillbirth. It scares me to death to keep trying, all my doctors know is that if I pass the translocation or bad info on ( this is so hard to explain) that I can get pregnant and they dont know how far I can get but it will end in death for my baby. Talking to mother who have been through a stillbirth gives me hope that I can make it through one if that day comes as well.

I say its a hard call to make and there is a lot of difference and a lot of the same feelings as well. Whats important is that we all get the support that we need and if that is not being met in this community then there should be two, however i think we should all welcome visitors even if they have not been through the exact same thing we have been through .... its the same poop just a different smell that we go through... it just might be more difficult because there could get to be too many communities as well. like should there be one for women who suffer from multiple miscarriage? Should there be one for women who have no previous children b/c no offense to anyone trust me i feel very different not having any children at all and knowing I may never get to, however I dont think that a mother's pain of losing a child that should have been a brother or sister to there current children is any less just *different* and thats okay were all going to feel different pain but we all wanted our babies and we all miss them and nomatter what we share that feeling... Okay Im really done with my book now :)

I do get your point. My son was born still at 32 weeks last july, and I just had an early miscarriage last week. Please, no one get me wrong. I am very dissapointed and sad for my recent loss. But the deep pain that I feel from my stillborn baby is still almost unbearable. And the other mommys that have lost their babies in the third trimester have really been great here for support. As well as all the mommies who have lost their children in the first and second trimester. But when I lost my son at 32 weeks, I felt so ALONE. When I met all the other wonderful women who lost their babies late in their pregnancy, I didn't feel alone anymore.
That is a good point though, made by the other ladies. Where do you draw the line? I remember feeling my son move at 16 weeks. I think that we are all grieving here. And all for the same thing. Whether God took our babies at 8 weeks or 40 weeks, we all were preparing for a future with our child that never got to be.

Have only just joined this site. I have had three misscarriages and one ectopic pregnancy. I feel a deep sense of loss, but cannot begin to imagine or be able to relate to someone who has had a stillbirth. I really think there needs to be two different communities.

I have had 3 miscarriages ( 8, 10, and 13 weeks) and I have a son who was stillborn at 38 weeks. Having been through both I can definitely see where separate groups would be a good thing. I was very upset with each miscarriage but the pain is different when you get farther into pregnancy, feel the kicks and movements, compromise how you sleep ect... things you dont have to do quite yet in a miscarriage. The biggest difference is going home without your child after delivery. I had to have a d/c with one of my miscarriages and it still isnt the same. I am by no means taking anything away from those who have miscarried but I think for me it makes more since to split the groups and those who want to stay members of both can.

i agreeeeeee!!!!!