Miscarriage Support Group

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Spouse not sure of trying again?

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am having trouble with my spouse. He constantly goes back and forth about wanting to try again. Sometimes he says that he would love to (usually after seeing a cute baby or if one of ours does something funny) and other times he will say things like "We have two healthy children and I don't want to push it" or "I am afraid that it will be too much for us" and "I wont have any free time"...anyone else have a husband or significant other who is indecisive? It just makes the decision that much more difficult when we have such differing opinions!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would say give it time. I read your profile and you said your husband doesn't think about it much, I'm sure he thinks about it more than you realize. I think the worst pain for them is seeing us in so much pain and that may be what he is afraid of happening again.

I had my miscarriage in July. I have a 2 year old. My husband is sure he wants another one, and I'm not. I'm giving myself a few more months before I think about it too much. I'm waiting on some medical tests and then I have a few trips this year that I would rather wait until they are over.

My advice to another woman whose husband wasn't ready was to put him in charge of the birth control. If he doesn't want the child, he's the one responsible for preventing it. Let him know that you won't pressure him, but you will be paying attention to how careful he is about birth control. Since he is indecisive, you could also see if he is willing to let nature decide. Don't try, but don't prevent either.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That's a good idea. I am not ready to start trying right away, but I think if we are going to try again, it needs to be fairly soon since we wanted our kids to be relatively close in age. I don't bring it up at all. He will bring it up and every time he does we are still undecided. The only reason I ask, is he "jokingly" says to others that he would " go get snipped" if given the okay. It just makes me sad that he doesn't feel the same way and I do or isn't totally clear on what he really does feel. I think time will tell...
deleted_user
deleted_user
After it happen he said he did not want any more we have 2 a girl that is 8 and a boy that is 5. Now he said he does but I think it is because he thinks my pain will go away if I get preg. Don't let him get snip you are still young and want another child down the rode. give it time
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