I always thought that grief was linear, and it would get better each day, but I have learned that there are often steps backwards. I hope that you are pregnant again soon.

Remember our grief comes and goes in waves. With the holidays on us, I think our grief tends to come get us at this point. I know my grief is showing it's ugly head right now. I think part of it has to do with family not acknowledging our daughter. Try to give yourself some time each day to let it all out. I think it helps because it's not all built up till it can't anymore when it really swamps us.

Wow. I know how that goes. I hurt sometimes intensely wishing I were pregnant. I hits really hard sometimes-- usually when I see other pregnant women.

I'm sorry. I know how it hurts. I have a lot of the same feelings and the same intensity sometimes.

I had a miscarriage at 6 -7 weeks Feb 2007 and on Oct 31,2007 we lost our son Gavin I was 23 weeks pregnant. I wish I could just hurry up and get pregnant and have a healthy baby. I am so frustrated. It all seems like a waiting game. I have some good days but today was bad for me also. The only thing that makes it a little better is the thought of getting pregnant again. Good luck and I am here if you need to talk.

For the past few journal entries I had a semi green face. I don't know how I went from being in a good mood to now a crappy mood and I don't even know why I feel crappy. It's like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster and I just can't get off.

I feel as if I am bipolar. One minute I am great and on top of the world and the next, I feel like I'm on an ultimate low.

erinot-That's exactly it. I almost title this post "Am I crazy?" I didn't though because I know others are going through this too and I didn't want anyone to think I thought they were crazy. You just feel like you have no control over your emotions anymore. I got better after lunch. I went and pigged out on Chimichangas and drank a nice leaded Coke. I quit drinking sodas, so I felt better doing something bad. I've mad so many changes to my life in order to try and have a baby and so far I just keep getting hurt. Get pregnant on the first try, lose that one, take 7 months to get pregnant again, finally get there and everything goes fine, then find out the heart isn't beating. It just sucks.

I had two m/c too... and all I want is to be pg again. Like you, I want it right now. It's hard to be patient. Some days I'm fine with it, other days I just want to cry my eyes out. It's been months since my last m/c, but it still hits me sometimes. I'm tired of being sad, but it can just take over sometimes and there's nothing I can do but let it and wait for it to pass. It's not healthy to hold it in. Good luck to you.

I know exactly how you feel. This was our first month trying again (after a m/c in Aug), and I started my period last night. I was trying to be realistic that it might not happen right away, but I couldn't help getting my hopes up (it worked the first time when we got pregnant in June). Anyway...I totally lost it this morning. I started crying in the shower, and it was like everything just hit me all over again. I felt like I had moved past the intensity of the grief from our m/c, but it feels like I'm experiencing it all over again today. I think you're right....hurt just hurts.