We lost our Nicholas at 16 weeks and 2 days. We were asked if we wanted to see him. We said yes, and No I do not regret that decision at all. My Mom even got to hold him which makes him seem even so much more real.

Thank you for your reply. I know I can't change my answer now I am just trying to deal with the choice that I made.

Don't knock yourself out over it. I wish now that I would have held my son, but just couldn't at the time.

We lost our baby Rose at 20 weeks and we held her and Baptised her. We knew to do this only becaue a friend who had lost her baby under similiar circumstances told us to do so. You made your choice in the moment, out of self protection, so please, PLEASE don't blame yourself if you regret it now. Your choice was natural and appropriate. You regret your decision now only because you've probably healed enough so that seeing the baby doesn't seem like such the trial that it did that day. Actually, as you are dealing with your profound loss, you are probably realizing that seeing your dead child isn't the worst thing that could happen - it's the aftremath of the death of a child that's he worst...the weeks and weeks of emptiness. Believe me, I've been there, and October, as the winter is approaching, is the most terrible time to cope !!! We lost our Rose on Oct. 1st. So what do you do now? My advice is two things: "Read Life Touches Life" by Lorraine Ash. It will make you cry, but it will help your healing. Also, and don't think I'm bonkers, but get on ebay and buy yourself a baby doll. They sell replicas of lost infants, at different stages of gestation. You can hold a replica of your lost baby and grieve, as you should. Let it out, be as bizarre as you need to -there are NO RULES except survival and living to fight another day. You will probably conceive again, but you will have to do your grief work first. It totally sucks, but there is no way over the mountain except to climb it. My prayers are with you and you contact me anytime: kellyfacingforty@yahoo.com

I lost my daughter at almost 40 weeks. And we did get to see her and hold her. But the docs. give you so much medication that it is hard to remember being with her. Don't beat yourself up though. You were just trying to get the through the worst time in your life and whatever you did was what you needed at the time. I am so sorry for your loss!

I lost my son at 17 1/2 weeks and when they asked my husband and I had decided it was best for us if we chose not to see our baby, we were having such a hard time dealing with the loss we felt it would be harder on us. I don't deal with death very easily but sometimes I do wish I would've held him in my arms... but deep down I know I did the right thing for my emotion health. It has been over 2 months since we lost Angel and I am still completely devastated and have not found peace at all. I have a beautiful image of him in heaven and I think had I seen him that would be all I would see, my son in my arms dead. The image I have of him now helps me to get through each day, and I sometimes dream I am with him in heaven. I pray you are able to find peace with your decision and not be to upset with the choice you made at the moment. Your child is with you in spirit and when you close your eyes picture him/her in your arms smiling, it will give you a moment of peace. I'll keep you in my prayers. xx Krystle

Honey, that is such a personal decision, please don't beat yourself up about it. Your baby knows your love for him whether you were ready to hold him or not. We lost our son at 22 weeks and I just couldn't hold him because he had a form of skeletal dysplasia and I was so afraid that if I saw his broken body it was going to take away from the perfect image I had of him in my mind. I held him for 22 weeks just as you held your angel for 14 1/2 weeks. That was the important time to hold him. When your body nurtured his. He loves you. I don't regret my choice. It was what was best for me and my son knows that. My husband went to hold him and so did my mom, but I just couldn't do it. I wanted to keep him perfect in my mind forever. Give yourself peace about this sweetheart. There's no handbook about how to deal with this. It's a road without a map and we're just learning as we go. I'll pray for your peace tonight. Much love.

We lost our Alexis at a little over 21 weeks gestation. She lived for a little over an hour. While I was in labor, a nurse informed me that Alexis would be born alive, she had a very strong heart beat, but that she would die shortly afterwards. My biggest regret is that I never saw my baby alive. I wish that if they knew she was going to die, that they just placed her in my arms, and let me hold her. They whisked her away, I never even caught a glimpse of her alive. I did hold her after she died. She was so tiny and beautiful. This was 7 years ago, to this day, that was my biggest regret. I do know that I wasn't thinking straight, I was in so much shock of it all. I always get a little bit quiet and sad on her birthday. She was born on SEptember 5, 2000. My daughter that I had after Alexis, started kindergarten on Alexis' birthday, so it was realy an emotional day for me this year.

Yes i do ,I MIC my Baby Natural on vaccation I was 12 weeks .I wish i could turn back Time and Chanche me decission .But like you said we cant ,we only can try to respect our decission .If you need to talk im here .Take care.