For those of you not familiar with my story. We've had 6 clomid cycles,5 Invitros, 4 misscarriages and 2 still births at 19 and 21 weeks. I struggle with the fact that my twin boys were taken from us. Everything was going perfectly until my water broke at 3 AM while I was sleeping. The MDs have no idea why. Sometimes I feel like God has no mercy. I will never know but why would he take to perfectly healthy boys? It seems so unfair that many screwed up or drug addicted people get pregnant so easily. Why would he let us get so far to just take all that joy and life away from us. After all we have been through, it seems like a cruel joke. I keep trying to look to the lord for strength and keep my faith but sometimes I feel so angry. We had a huge prayer chain going while I was in the hospital. Things were going so well after we lost our 1st boy. Contractions and bleeding stopped, my cervix was slowly closing, and suddenly after avoiding the second delivery for 2 weeks I developed a uterine infection and went into labor. I feel like I was tortured. Why would God put me through all that just to take my last son? My prayers and the prayers of countless others did nothing! How can I be expected to ever have faith after that. He took everything from me.
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